Everyman

I want to be your Rasputin
I want to be your Anakin
I want to be your Harry Potter
Want to be your Mr. Kotter

I want to be your Sherlock Holmes
And your Indiana Jones
I want to be your Caped Crusader
Want to be your Terminator

I want to be your Miles Davis
Want to be your Amadeus
I want to be your Soup Nazi
And your Liberace

I want to be your Jacques Cousteau
Your Edgar Allen Poe
I want to be your Zoolander
Want to be your Everyman.


I try to be your Gandolfini
Try to be your Owen Meany
Try to be your Leonard Cohen
And your Christopher Nolan

I try to be your Kasparov
And your Kermit the Frog
I try to be your Giuliani
And your Mahatma Gandhi

I try to be your Claude Monet
Try to be your JFK
I try to be your Steve Jobs
And your Calvin and Hobbes

I try to be your Spock and Bones
And your Tommy Lee Jones
I try to be your Scissorhands
I try to be your Everyman

When you need a friend
To ride the lows
When you crave a lover
To curl your toes
Who do you ache for
When I take your hand
When you’re all alone
Let me be your Everyman

I want to be your Einstein    
I want to be your Calvin Klein
I want to be your Dustin Hoffman
And your Charlie Kaufman

I want to be your Jon Stewart
Your Alfred E. Newman
I want to be your Ferris Bueller
Want to be your Freddie Krueger

I want to be your General Custer
Want to be your Colonel Mustard
I want to be your Gus Hanson
And your Marilyn Manson

I want to be your Bruce Lee
Your knights who say Ni !
I want to be your Larry Sanders
I want to be your Everyman


I try to be your Terry Fox             When you dare to dive
I try to be your Hitchcock    
I try to be your Mel Gibson           Depths of your soul
Your Franklin W. Dixon

I try to be your Reuben Xaus        Yearn to find yourself
And your Oscar the Grouch
I try to be your Frank Drebin         Losing Control
And your 007

I try to be your Sting                  Who do you long for
And your Martin Luther King
I try to be your John Cleese         When I take your hand
And your Hawkeye Pierce

Encyclopedia Brown                    When you’re all alone
And your Eddie Aikau
I try to be your Marlon Brando      Let me be your Everyman
Try to be your Everyman


I try so hard to be somebody who
Is your Everyman that’s what I want for you



I want to be your Mick Jagger            Want to be seduced
Want to be your Bilbo Baggins
I want to be your Gorbachov                By story and song
And your Barishnikov

I want to be your Cassius Clay            Bear the weight
And your Tenzing Norgay
I want to be your Fred Astaire            Of a will so strong
Want to be your Yogi Bear

I want to be your Taro Lakra                Who do you live for
Want to be your Kerouac
I want to be your George Burns            When I take your hand
And your Guy Lafleur

I want to be your Kevin Spacey            When you’re all alone
Your Finnegan and Casey
I want to be your Ned Flanders            Let me be your Everyman
I want to be your Everyman    


I try to be your Henry Miller                When you need a friend
Try to be your Ben Stiller
I try to be your Jack Ryan                To ride the lows
And your Conan O Brien

I try to be your Rick Blaine                Crave a lover
And your Citizen Kane
I try to be your Jerry Rice                To curl your toes
Try to be your Bill Bryson

I try to be your Bernie Taupin                Who do you wish for
Try to be your Tom Robbins
I try to be your Niles Crane                When I take your hand
And your Ford Fairlane

Your Orson Scott Card                Let me in
Your Harold and Kumar
I try to be your Cary Grant                Let me be your Everyman
I try to be your Everyman


I want to be your Brett Favre                Need a friend
And your Jean Luc Picard
Your Watson and Crick                To ride the lows
And your Philip K. Dick

Your Bartlett and Leo                    Crave a lover
Morpheus and Neo
Your Dorian Gray                    To curl your toes
Your Kaiser Soze

I want to be your Jimmy Buffett            Who do you die for
And your Man from Nantucket
Want to be your Dave Kreig                 When I take your hand
And your Andrew Blake

I try to be your Sting                   Who do you long for
And your Martin Luther King
I try to be your John Cleese              When I take your hand
And your Hawkeye Pierce

Encyclopedia Brown                   When you’re all alone
And your Eddie Aikau
I try to be your Marlon Brando          Let me be your Everyman
Try to be your Everyman

I try
So hard
To be                       Basil Fawlty your Antonio Vivaldi
Somebody who               James Brady your Barenaked Ladies

Is your                        Jean-Paul Sartre your Peter Parker
Everyman                       Penn and Teller your Nelson Mandela
That’s what I want         Svengali your Salvador Dali
For you                       Peter Pan your Everyman



I want to be your Mick Jagger         Want to be seduced
Want to be your Bilbo Baggins
I want to be your Gorbachev          By story and song
And your Baryshnikov

I want to be your Cassius Clay         Bear the weight
And your Tenzing Norgay
I want to be your Fred Astaire         Of a will so strong
Want to be your Yogi Bear

I want to be your Taro Lakra            Who do you live for
Want to be your Kerouac
I want to be your George Burns      When I take your hand
And your Guy Lafleur

I want to be your Kevin Spacey       When you’re all alone
Your Finnegan and Casey
I want to be your Ned Flanders       Let me be your Everyman
I want to be your Everyman    


I try to be your Henry Miller       When you need a friend
Try to be your Ben Stiller
I try to be your Jack Ryan            To ride the lows
And your Conan O’Brien


I try to be your Rick Blaine            Crave a lover
And your Citizen Kane
I try to be your Jerry Rice            To curl your toes
Try to be your Bill Bryson

I try to be your Bernie Taupin    Who do you wish for
Try to be your Tom Robbins
I try to be your Niles Crane       When I take your hand
And your Ford Fairlane

Cranky

Don’t get me started on kids today
A little bit of work and a whole lot of play
Sleep till noon and party all night
Slow to pick up a cheque so quick to pick a fight

They lie in the sun while they talk on the phone
Their scarring tattoos and their piercing ring tones
Their jeans are too tight and they swear too much
They dance too close while they kiss and touch

I just can’t watch ‘em throw their lives away
So I pound on the door and hear myself say

You play your music too loud I can’t hear myself think
You party all night you have too much to drink
You drive too fast and you dress like a slob
Too busy looking for fun instead of finding a job

But when I look in the mirror I don’t understand
When did I become a cranky old man
Yeah when I look in the mirror I don’t understand
I’m too damn young to be a cranky old man


I’ve got obligations and responsibilities
Corroding stucco and dental fees
I got LDL and credit card bills
A little more grey and a little blue pill

Bosses and families who think they know it all
I can see the writing but the print’s too small
A fixed rate mortgage tied around my neck
Got a minivan straight up for my vette

I just can’t watch em throw their lives away
So I pound on the floor and hear myself say



You play your music too loud I can’t hear myself think
You party all night you have too much to drink     
You drive too fast and you dress like a slob     
Too busy looking for fun instead of finding a job         

But I look in the mirror I don’t understand
When did I become a cranky old man
Yeah when I look in the mirror I don’t understand     
I’m too damn young to be a cranky old man        


Doesn’t seem so long sometimes
Since I was a kid
Now I look back and smile
At all the things we did

Well tonight... tonight....


We’re gonna crank it so loud you can’t hear yourself think
We’re gonna party all night and have too much to drink
We’re gonna drive too fast and dress like a slob
We’re gonna have some fun to hell with the job

And when you look in the mirror you will understand
This night is too young to be a cranky old man
Yeah when I look in the mirror now I understand
I’m too damn young to be a cranky old man

And when you look in the mirror you will understand
There’s plenty of time to be a cranky old man
Yeah when I look in the mirror now I understand
Just shoot me when I’m a cranky old man

Your Orson Scott Card            Let me in
Your Harold and Kumar
I try to be your Cary Grant            Let me be your Everyman
I try to be your Everyman


I want to be your Brett Favre    Need a friend
And your Jean-Luc Picard
Your Watson and Crick            To ride the lows
And your Philip K. Dick

Your Bartlett and Leo            Crave a lover
Morpheus and Neo
Your Dorian Gray            To curl your toes
Your Kaiser Soze

Want to be your Jimmy Buffett  Who do you die for
And your Man from Nantucket
Want to be your Dave Kreig       When I take your hand
And your Andrew Blake

I want to be your Roald Dahl     When you’re all alone
Want to be your Prem Paul            
I want to be your Dalai Lama    Let me be your Everyman
Your Barack Obama

I Don’t Care

You knock on my door, to raise awareness for your cause
It’s your first annual fart-a-thon
Olfactory deficiency strikes one in ten
But with my generous support your dog might smell again  

Well I give at the office I give at the malls
I wear a colored ribbon to your black tie balls
My daughter needs braces and my car is a wreck
But Cujo can’t smell so I write you a cheque.  

I got a hundred causes lined up at my door
Enough is enough I can’t bleed any more  

I don’t care
I don’t care anymore
I don’t care
I just don’t care anymore  

My kids love the pandas but we boycott the zoo
I buy free range organic animal tested pefume
I watch my emissions and my carbon footprint
I recycle my beer and compost my sh--   

We gotta save the icecaps, gotta find a cure
Protect the planet from the menace du jour
Your candidate talks about the environment
Eating veal scallopini on his corporate jet  

I got a hundred protests banging on my door
Enough is enough, I can’t worry anymore   

I don’t care
I don’t care anymore
I don’t care
I just don’t care anymore

I kept stopping. Listening. Talking. And giving.
Your stories used to make me cry.
But you keep coming. Pushing. Squeezing. And guilting.
Your causes have bled me dry.  

I hear a hundred voices as the clock strikes four
My heart is pounding I can’t breathe any more  

I don’t care about petitions and your tax receipts
I don’t care about your auctions and your lotteries  

I don’t care about elephants who start to forget
I don’t care about the parakeets who suffer Tourettes  

I don’t care about the asteroid heading for us
I don’t care about dyslexics who can’t get cuffed  

I don’t care about superheroes’ landing rights
I don’t care about stuttering hermaphrodites   

I don’t care about their war and their refugees
I don’t care about your children and their fatal disease  

I don’t care
I don’t care anymore  

I don’t care
I wish I didn’t care anymore

Pluto Rocks

You always seemed so distant
A million miles away
We traveled different orbits
Your night was my day

I never knew you too well
You seemed a little cold
But you’ve been a part of me
Since I was five years old

I don’t care what people say
You’ll always be mine    
I don’t care what the experts say
You’ll always be my number nine        

Pluto rocks        
Stop the attack
Grandfather Pluto
You gotta bring him back

Pluto rocks
It’s lunacy
Grandfather Pluto
He’s like family            
So smart and so smug
So proudly pedantic
Can’t you be a scientist
And still a romantic

Don’t you still love him
Don’t you still need him
Don’t you want your great great
Grandkids to meet him

I don’t care what people say
You’ll always be mine
I don’t care what the experts say
You’ll always be my number nine

Pluto rocks
In a vacuous void
Grandfather Pluto
He’s no asteroid

Pluto rocks
He’s been watching over you
Grandfather Pluto
It’s the right thing to do


Pluto rocks
He’s all alone
Grandfather Pluto
He’s got a moon of his own

Pluto Rocks
Don’t hurt him no more
Grandfather Pluto
Don’t call him no dwarf
I don’t care what the experts say
You’ll always be my number nine


Pluto rocks        
Stop the attack
Grandfather Pluto
You gotta bring him back

Pluto rocks
It’s lunacy
Grandfather Pluto
He’s like family    

Pluto rocks
In a vacuous void
Grandfather Pluto
He’s no asteroid

Pluto rocks
He’s been watching over you
Grandfather Pluto
It’s the right thing to do

I Puke Alone

I was young and strong and never too long with one lady
You were smart and hot and still you thought you’d take a chance on me
You had your doubts could we stick it out together
I promised you I’d stay by your side, forever

But it’s getting late and I feel a burning in my heart
And I swore I’d never let anything keep us apart

So I want you to know two things before I go
I love you my darling and I puke alone

I puke alone
I don’t need you to ask if I’m okay
I puke alone
I don’t need you to keep the hair out of my face
Please remember before you close the door
I’ll love you forever and I puke alone


You held me, as the i.v. was jabbed into my vein
And when I woke up, in post-op I heard you breathe my name
You tried to hide your terrified eyes in the waiting room
You squeezed my hand so tight when the doctor broke the news

Now it’s getting late and I feel a burning in my heart
And I swear I’ll never let anything keep us apart

It’s three o’clock in the morning and two things I hope you know
I love you my sweetie and I puke alone

I puke alone
Some things you gotta face by yourself
I puke alone
There’s nothing you can do right now to help
Still I feel your hand reaching through the door
You know I’ll love you forever and I puke alone


Now it’s getting cold and late and I fear a burning in my heart
And I swear unconvincingly nothing will ever keep us apart


I will be there to make sure you’re okay
I will be there to keep the hair out of your face
You will feel my hand reaching through the door
I promised you would never be alone

So I need you know two things before I go
I love you my baby and you will never puke alone

I love you my friends and you will never puke alone
I love you my children you will never be alone

Sorbet Girl

It got so serious
The two of us
Every little thing
Became contentious

It got so stifling
So paralyzing
Every little breath
Was suffocating

I needed some air I needed some space
I had to get rid of the aftertaste

A sorbet girl is what I need
A tasty treat that isn’t too sweet
A tangy tingle on the tip of my tongue
A lip-smacking female for some rollicking fun

A sorbet girl is what I could use
A heavy relationship interlude
A sinful delight to cool my heartburn
All I want is two scoops of sorbet girl


Don’t think I’m immature
This I know for sure
Monogamy
Is in my future

But it might be best to wait
Let this ache abate
Before I try again
To find my soul mate

I needed to run I had to make haste
I had to get rid of the aftertaste

A sorbet girl is what I need
I tasty treat that isn’t too sweet
A tangy tingle on the tip of my tongue
A lip-smacking female for some frolicking fun
A sorbet girl is what I could use
A heavy relationship interlude
A sinful delight to cool my heartburn
All I want is two scoops of sorbet girl


Cherry or honeydew vanilla or peach
Flavors as far as the eye can see
One all alone or a couple together
A taste of sorbet will make the entrée better


A sorbet girl is what I need
I silky young treat that isn’t too sweet
A tangy tingle on the tip of my tongue
A lip-smacking female for some rollicking fun

A sorbet girl is what I should do
A palate-cleansing interlude
A sinful tart to cool my heartburn
All I want is two scoops of sorbet girl


Be a perfect world if I could find
A sorbet girl who needs a sorbet guy
Be a perfect world if I could find
All I want is two scoops of sorbet guy

Banana cream in a chocolate swirl
All I want is two scoops of sorbet girl
A tutti tang in a fruity world
All I want is two scoops…or maybe three scoops… of sorbet girl

A couple of licks or a couple of cups
All I want is two scoops of sorbet girl
A single of me plus a double of trouble
All I want is two scoops of sorbet girl

Two Empty Seats

Though I wept with my country on that fateful day
There’s always two empty seats beside me on a plane
I got black hair and dark eyes, my name is hard to say
When I reach out my hand, you just turn the other way

Sometimes I want to march up to the front of the plane
Stand outside the cockpit, grab the PA
And make you understand
What I have to say

I am an American
Why do I gotta prove
I’m not one of them
I’m one of you

I am an American
I swear it’s true
I am not a terrorist
I just look like one...

...to you


I left my people behind to find a better day
Now my girl plays hip-hop and my son likes to skate
I work seven days a week to put some money away
For my kids and their kids that’s a small price to pay

Sometimes I want to stop you in a dark alleyway
Drag you across the road buy you a latte
And make you listen
To what I have to say

I am an American
Still I gotta prove
I’m not one of them
I’m one of you

I am an American
I swear it’s true, officer
I am not a terrorist
Why do I look like one...

...to you


Sometimes I want to sneak up onto the stage
Grab my guitar make you feel my pain
Dammit, you’re gonna hear
What I have to say


I am an American
My kids are too
We are not one of them
We are one of you

I am an American
I swear it’s true, Mr. President
I am not a terrorist
Do I look like one...

...to you

I am an American
I am a Canadian
I am an Englishman
I am an Australian

I am your doctor
I am your brother
I am your driver
I am your daughter’s lover

I am your guilty conscience
I am the voice you don’t want to hear
I am your paranoia
I am your darkest fear

I am your cure for cancer
I am the first man on Mars
I am your Pulitzer Prize
I am the guy who gave you CPR

I am American
I swear it’s true, my friend
I am not a terrorist
Do I still look like one...

...to you

I am an American
Just like you
I am an American
Don’t I look like one...

...to you

There’s always two empty seats beside me on a plane
There’s always two empty seats beside me on a plane

Saturday Night

I turned nine years old in the winter of seventy-five
I slept in my jersey like all the other guys
The NHL was where I was gonna shine
Saturday day, I biked to the rink, played till supper time

But when the music started, you know where I’d be
I’d be staring wide-eyed, at the CBC
Watching Number ten, scoring so easily
Saturday night, belonged to my Daddy and me

I turned twenty-two, in the winter of eighty-eight
My Canadian Dream, turned out just wasn’t my fate
All week long, I worked a job for a Friday date
Saturday day, got in the truck, went for a pick-up skate

But when the music started, you know where I’d be
I’d be staring wide-eyed at the CBC
Watching ninety-nine, scoring so easily
Saturday night, belonged to my buddies and me

I turned twenty-eight, in the winter of 94
Got a haircut and suit, thought about tomorrow a little more
Traded my pickup for a shiny new four door
One Saturday day I stopped by the jewelry store

But when the music started, you know where I’d be
I’d be staring wide-eyed, at the CBC
Watching ninety-three, scoring so easily
Saturday night, belonged to my baby and me

I turned nine years old in the winter of 2005
I sleep in my jersey like all the other guys
The NHL is where I’m gonna shine
Saturday day, I bike to the rink, play till supper time

But when the music starts, you know where I’ll be
I’ll be staring wide-eyed at the CBC
Watching number twelve scoring so easily
Saturday night belongs to my Daddy and me

And when the music’s fading, you know where I’ll be
I’ll be staring through my cataracts, at the CBC
Watching some new kid, bring back some memories
Saturday night will belong to Grandma and me

Must Sell Screenplay

Please Mr. Spielberg
It’s a drama you can’t resist
It’s Jaws meets Schindler’s List
Don’t be pissed I got your unlisted number
It’s got tons of product placement
It’ll kill in foreign markets
Cause the narrator’s the shark
Oh and I’ll let you give the acceptance speech

What do you say Stevie? Steve?
Hello?

Please Mr. Tarantino,
I’m sure your writer’s block’s a rumor
I’ve got Pulp Fiction with some humor
A velcro bodysuit for Uma
The soundtrack’s esoteric
And the gore is metaphoric
The purple blood is an homage to Barney
We can split the film and double our gross.

Exactly! Gratuitous profanity!
Hello?

Must sell screenplay
I’m a Hollywood star trapped in the body of an ordinary guy
It’ll be better than all the crap that’s out there now...
I’ll take high six figures against 1.9

Please Mr. Shamalama…lama... la…ma
You’ll love my supernatural thriller
It’s Sixth Sense meets Natural Born Killers
I got your number from Ben Stiller
It’s got a killer act three twist
Bruce Willis realizes he’s a giraffe
Did I say Stiller, I meant Owen Wilson
Oh and I’ll let you do a cameo.

Did I mention the giraffe is dead
Hello?

Please Mr. Scorsese
Think Sideways meets Casino
A mid life road trip to Reno
Where Pacino  ices DeNiro’s Pinot    
Only instead of wine it’s sushi
And the mobsters roll the... lobsters
It’s an offer you can’t refuse...
Get it? Get it? What do you mean?

Didn’t you do Godfather?
Hello?

Must sell screenplay
I’m a Hollywood star trapped in the body of an ordinary guy
It’ll be better than all the crap that’s out there now... No offense...
It’s a steal at mid six against 1.5

Do you feel lucky Mr. Eastwood
It’s Unforgiven meets Bollywood
I saw you sipping a Chai Latte in Westwood
With Deepak Chopra and Elijah... something
A love triangle with no kissing
You lip-sync through the chuckwagons
Oh and maybe one of you has a chimp...
Or a hobbit... Or a wookie... yeah!

Go ahead, make my samosa.
Hello?

Please Mr. Nolan
It’s Monty Python meets Memento
The chronology is mental
And the comedy is dental, I mean British
Accents are outrageous
The amnesia’s contagious
The knights laugh at the same joke over and over
Oh and John Cleese has a tattoo of the Holy Grail on his butt.
Only grail is spelled backwards. Liarg.

Must sell screenplay
I’m a Hollywood star trapped in the body of an ordinary guy
It’ll be better than all the crap that’s out there now... You know what I mean...
It’s a steal at low six against zero point nine


Please Mr. Reiner
It’s a tragic romantic mocku-fantasy
It’s Sophie’s Choice meets Harry Meets Sally
It’s funny and deep and I see Meryl Streep
Faking an orgasm in a... castle
Kind of a Spinal Tappish Princess Bride
She and Billy Crystal can’t have a child
Cause she discovers she’s inconceivable.

What do you mean you do not think it means what I think it means.
Hello?

Must sell screenplay
I’m a Hollywood star trapped in the body of an ordinary guy
It’s better than all the crap that’s out there now... Nothing personal...
I’ll take back end points cause what I really want to do is direct.

Hello?

Must sell screenplay
I’m a Hollywood superstar trapped in the body of an ordinary guy
Must sell screenplay...
Or maybe... sell a... song about it.


Please Mr. Eno
I got your number from The Edge...

Starry-Eyed

Thirty Junes ago, Light
Years away, A name
Less star shoots a
Shower of rays, Across the

Universe, each one
Makes its way, Just one wish-
Ful ray of light will
Reach Earth today

Tonight in her eyes, I see a star
And I wonder what the chances are
That a far off galaxy, can touch my trivial world
Yet I find tonight, I’m dazzled by, this starry eyed, girl


Thirty Junes ago, Another
World away, Thousands
Of baby girls were
Born that day, Across

This blue planet, Each
Child makes its way, Till
One grown up girl falls
In my arms today

And tonight in her eyes, I see a star
And I wonder what the chances are
That a far off galaxy, can shape my chaotic world
Yet I wish tonight, I’ll spend my life, with this starry eyed, girl


It’s so easy to be so cynical
With odds so astronomical
On this magical night, I have to believe
The stars conspired to bring her to me


Cause tonight in her eyes, I see a star
And I wonder what the chances are
That a far off galaxy, can spark my forgotten world
Yet I know tonight, I see my wife, in this starry eyed, girl


One night this October, I mean August, Light
Years away, A newborn
Star shoots a
Shower of rays, Thirty years

From now, some
Where in this world, a star
Struck boy will wish
Upon my starry-eyed baby girl

And I swear tonight, I’d give my life, for this starry-eyed baby girl.

Happy For You

I have some news you called to say
You can’t stop smiling, you’ve been flying all day
Now you’ve become the star you always wanted to be
And you had to share your happy with me

This can’t be right, this can’t be real,
This can’t be what I’m supposed to feel

I’m so happy for you
Your sun is shining and your skies are blue
You’re living it up in your penthouse view
I can’t tell you how happy I am for you

When all my wildest dreams are coming true… for you


So you’ve finally found your perfect mate
And you’ve happened upon fortune and fame
You’ve worked and prayed and you sacrificed
And finally lady luck gave you a smile

I know it’s amazing, I know it’s just great
I know the words I’m supposed to say

I’m so so so so happy for you
Your sun is shining and your skies are blue
You’re soaking it up in your ocean view
I can’t tell you how happy I am for you

When all my wildest dreams are coming true… for you
I know it’s unforgivable this feeling I’ve found
I know there’s lots of happy happy to go around
I call you my friend and I don’t know what to do
Cause I’d love to tell you.
Say it out loud
I wish I could just spit it out...


I’m so so happy for you
Your sun is shining and your sky is blue
You’re laughing it up in your ridiculous view
I can’t tell you how happy I am for you

When all my wildest dreams are coming true… for you


You curl up for a lazy day by the pool
Then you take a refreshing dip
So cool so clear so well deserved
You fool yourself you’re clearly without a clue
How lucky you are you’re Mr. McGoo
With a Midas touch working for you
While the rest of us sweat and bleed and
Who knows how you can walk with those horseshoes
Of course I’m happy for you
So sad but true        
I’m happy for you

I’m so happy for you

Movie Moment

Holding each other, holding their breath
Swaying to the sound of their song
The world stands still, their hearts stand still
They’ve waited for this moment so long

Lost in the moment, lost in their eyes
No worry, no fear and no doubt
Love in their hearts, love in the air
It makes me just want to stand up and shout

It’s just another movie moment    
To leave you singing smiling all day     
It’s just love in a movie moment    
Real life don’t happen that way


I’ve had my fill of romance films
They always seem a little far-fetched to me
Boy meets girl, boy gets girl
Living each other’s fantasy

Starry-eyed, soft-lit, slo-mo-ments
Planets aligned so perfectly
The perfect girl, the perfect night
A ridiculously perfect scene

It’s just another movie moment    
To leave you singing smiling all day     
It’s just love in a movie moment    
Real life don’t happen that way

Everybody tells me not to throw my life away
Waiting for the girl of my dreams
Happy ever after’s just a Hollywood tale
So why can’t I turn the lights on and see

It’s just another movie moment    
To leave you singing smiling all day     
It’s just love in a movie moment    
Real love don’t happen that way


If it’s just another movie moment
Would someone please tell me how
I got the girl of my dreams, and baby it seems
I’m living a movie moment…

Right now

No Bubbles

No bubbles no troubles
No great white teeth through my skin
No burning quarrels with fire coral
Got a foot still for each fin

No finger food for barracuda
No psychosis narcosis or the bends
No reason of note to stay on the boat
Let’s go down under again

Let’s go down under again

Let’s go diving again

Be

While you dream of tomorrow
When your Charming will be found
You wallow in your sorrow
Curl up on the ground

Go on shrug your shoulders         
There’s nothing you can do        
Snug your destiny like a blankie        
Till your warmest dreams come true

So sleep my sleeping beauty         
Just one kiss will set you free
Lose your senses in the soundtrack
Of your childhood fantasies

Don’t try to open your eyes
You might see what you see
You are who you are now
You be where you be

You are who you are now
You be where you be


Now exorcise your goblins
Let your lullabies rewind
Dare to riot from the dungeon
You’ve created in your mind

It’s time to rock your karma
It’s time to click your shoes
I beg you snap out of your slumber
Instead of slamming snooze

Or stay still my sleeping beauty
If one kiss will set you free
Why not frolic in the castles
Of your bedtime story dreams

What if you open your eyes
Would you see what you see
You are who you are now
You be where you be

You are who you are now
You be where you be

No No No

What you do
Will be
What you create
Will be
What you risk
What you reveal
Who you kiss
All this will be


So now wake my sleeping beauty
Not one kiss will set you free
Dare to pinch yourself with lobsters
At the buffet of your dreams

It’s time to open your eyes
And see what you see
You are who you are now
You be where you be

You are who you are now
You be where you be

Look alive my Pretty Woman
Let your kismet set you free
To hell with Cinderella
And glass slippers of your dreams

Wake up your sleeping beauty
And your free will will be free
You are who you are now
You be where you be

You are who you are now
You be where you be

What you make what you begin
How you start
Who you let in
Into your heart

Who you touch
Who you love
Who you need
Will surely be

What you spark
What you inspire
When you leap
Into the fire

Who you forgive
Makes you alive
When you release
Once upon a time

My Everyman

You’ll never be my Jimmy Dean
You’ll never be my Wolverine

You’ll never be my Johnny Carson
Never be my Gary Larson

Never be my Leonardo
Never be my Donnie Darko

Never be my Richard Gere
You’ll never be my Shakespeare

You’ll never be my John Milton
Never be my Bill Clinton

Never be my Boris Becker
Or my Hannibal Lecter

Never be my Lenny Bruce
Or my Maverick and Goose

You’ll never be my Tom Clancy
Never be my Everyman

You’ll never be my Tom Petty                   You try
Never be my Steve Buscemi

Never be my Stephen King                          Too hard
You’ll never be my Colonel Klink

You’ll never be my Doug Ross                  To be
Or my David Lee Roth

You’ll never be my Michael Crichton     Somebody who
My Napoleon Dynamite

You’ll never be my Larry David                Is my
Never be my Cliff Claven

Never be my Doug and Bob                    Everyman
You’ll never be my Tom Stoppard

Never be my Elliott Ness                          That’s what I want
Or my Banting and my Best

You’ll never by my Von Trapp                  It seems to you
You’ll never by my Everyman


You’ll never be my Boy Wonder                 Oh you try
Or my Crocodile Hunter

Never be my Dave Eggers        Too hard
Or my Schwartzenegger

Never be my Geldof        To be
You’ll never be my Gandalf

Or my Schroeder and my Linus    Somebody who
Or my Buckeroo Banzai

Never be my Jim Carrey        Is your
Or my Kramer and my Jerry

My Jack and Mr. Furley        Everyman
Or my Larry Mo and Curly

Never be my Mr. Big        All I want
Or my Agent 86

You’ll never be my Peyton Manning    Is you
Never be my Everyman

You’ll never be my Bill and Ted
You’ll never be my Jughead

You’ll never be my Cameron Crowe
Or my Bernard Callebaut

You’ll never be my Tiger Woods
You’ll never be my Mel Brooks

You’ll never be my Steven Tyler
Or my Tony the Tiger

Never be my Tom and Huck
You’ll never be my Mr. Yuck

You’ll never be my Jack Bauer
Never be my Austin Powers

Never be my Ashton Kutcher    All I want
Never be my Sam the Butcher

Never be my Superman        Is you
You’ll never be my Everyman